"the lottery"

 

source: sora

Almost wrote the day and tine on the title, as was my habit of doing when this was on my notebook. i dont know who im writing this for, i guess id like my life to be remembered in some way or another. I've been grappling with the fear of death lately.(thanatophobia more formally). i dont know where it came from all of the sudden, but its been recently compounded by the passing of my grandmas longtime neighbor and friend abebech, she passed away the day before last. she had a tumor growth on her brain, it was cancer i believe. id never seen a grown man cry in such a way before, it was disheartening. death is the ultimate perspective in my opinion, its the balance  by which we should weigh our decisions. I'm sitting on a stool next to the bed, its my turn on the side of the headpost today. just finished reading and then seeing Shirley Jackson's "the lottery" which the title of the story bears.it talks about mobs and how one forgets rationality and reason in mobs and one doesnt remember he is in a mob until the mob turns on him/her. The website got uploaded today (dcgabriel.org), our tech guy worked his magic and made it happen, it looks awsome, way better than the original that the priest did, though he did it in one sitting , watching from a youtube tutorial,(supposedly). naol and abenezer are going to meet with the bpo guy tomorrow( or technically today) if this thing pulls though, we( and by we i mean naol, and by extension me) are going to make millions (birr) monthly. mom is heading over to emaye's for the selest (the third day of passing). abebech had apparently passed on the operating table. and the doctor had warned them that the chances of survival were fifty fifty. she died from blood loss, she had hypertension. i have a slide presentation for analytical chemistry for tuesday, and i havent told anybody, not even naol, that im not planning on going past this semester in college. if i dont get an interview from the job by wednesday ill return the laptop( the one im writing with right now was loaned from neba). i havent made up my mind if i should write the previous 22 entries on my notebook here, i guess ill keep them as a sort of collectible. well until tomorrow, stay alive beka.